Happiness

This week has been a bit more difficult than most of the others. Well, I can't even say it's been the whole week. It was just this weekend that's been difficult. I've just experienced my first serious wave of homesickness. I was walking through Marseille on Friday and I suddenly realized that I just wanted to understand what was going on around me. I wanted to know what everyone was saying, look like everyone else, go to Barnes and Noble and soak in an entire bookstore full of English books, hang out with my friends and family, and just be really comfortable. Then I got a bit depressed and ended up in McDonalds (that's about as American as I could get) and guiltily downed chicken nuggets, fries, and a fig sundae. Unfortunately here they include the calorie content on the side of the packages. It did not help my mood.

So then Saturday I did nothing. I was invited to do multiple different things but I needed some time to wallow in self-pity, which I did, for two days. I mostly just watched movies and read books. I attempted, once again, to start writing something, a short story or anything, but, like usual, my mind was blank. Basically I just sat and did nothing.

It is starting to feel like fall here. It is inevitable that whenever the weather starts to cool and the leaves begin to change, I will become discontent. It doesn't matter where I am or what amazing thing I'm doing, I'll be ready for a change. I am restless in the fall. When the cool breeze blows through, I just want to follow it, wherever it is going. This time I wanted to follow it back to Africa but that's a different story. It's frustrating but it's probably what keeps me motivated to try new things rather than to just be happy where I am. So I guess it's a two edged sword.

But of course, this too shall pass. I woke up this morning at 6:30 to go to Alliance Francaise. This day was wonderful. Finally back amongst the living, I was reminded how much I also love my life here. My friends are amazing, this place is beautiful, I am starting to see how much French I'm already learning, and I have no business wasting this opportunity with my pity parties. I'm back and I'm happy!

*Above is a picture of the adorable kids I work with here. It cheers me up so I thought it was appropriate for this post.