If you are reading this blog, then you have also just had a good look at my innards. Yes, these are my lungs, and whatever that blobby thing there in the bottom right hand corner is. Also these are my ribs and my collar bones, which I think is awesome. I've always wanted x-ray vision. If it came down to it, I'd rather fly but yeah, if my superpower was x-ray vision, I'd take it.
I happened upon this lovely scan by means of being summoned to the immigration office for a medical exam to make sure I was carrying nothing contagious which I could transfer to France's inhabitants and therefore destroy their quality of life and maybe even bring to ruin their entire country. Mostly they were just checking for tuberculosis.
So I got there. I got lost and ended up getting a lot of exercise but I got there. You know, some parts of Marseille are just not places I ever want to walk through again. Also, don't trust Google Maps. If I'm learning anything from being in a foreign country, it's that you should never trust Google Maps.
Once there, I simply had to wait for my turn to get an x-ray, get weighed and questioned, and finally be told that I was fine and that I had passed. Yay me! In fact, I feel like I got bonus points because the doctor told me I should keep my scans because they looked really good. I'm thinking I might frame them. They are kind of awesome.
There were only two unpleasant occurrences besides the getting lost. The first: I had to get half naked. It was awkward. The x-ray guy just told me to pretend I was on the beach. Um, dude, I don't go topless on the beach even in France thanks! Then he thought he was clever to make some joke about it being too cold for the beach. Ha. Ha. But it really wasn't too bad. It's not like he doesn't see that every five minutes of every day. It's his job. I bet he really likes his job. That makes me laugh.
Second: The horrible woman at the front desk called me a liar. Well, basically. That's what she meant. She asked me to give her a stamp and a picture and some other paperwork. I didn't understand. I thought maybe I just didn't understand her French although I understood the words she was saying. What is she talking about, papers and stamps? So she looked exasperated and called over some girl who spoke English. That didn't help.
Apparently I supposedly got a third piece of paper in the envelope with the summons and it listed all the other stuff I needed to bring. I swear to you I have never seen that paper in my whole life. And I keep all my mail so it's not like I threw it away by accident. Well, she was mad when I said I hadn't received it. She said, jerkishly, "You did receive it, you just didn't hold on to it." In French.
I was mad but what could I do? So I looked apologetic and she wrote me a list of stuff to bring back. Ergh. I can't read her handwriting so this will take some work. Plus she's a jerk. I know darn well I only had two pieces of paper in that envelope. They've been sitting on my desk since I got them three weeks ago. Jerk.
So that is the story of my being half nude and falsely accused. Put that way it sounds like I had a much more exciting day than I really did.
